Dear Twiddling His Thumbs Since COVID-19
Dear M,
My Dad has been a guy that most people would think of as kind of happy go lucky. But since the COVID-19 pandemic started, he is acting differently. He seems to have a hard time with anything different. When I suggest something to him, he seems to put up a detour sign. Nothing I suggest seems to be of interest. Not sure what’s going on. He also seems like he’s uncomfortable because he is “twiddling his thumbs” since the pandemic. He was used to getting in his car and going to the local coffee shop in the morning to see his buddies. He did that for years. Of course, the coffee shop closed. They opened up but just for takeout. What do you think is happening?
Dear Twiddling His Thumbs Since COVID-19,
Sounds like your Dad may be experiencing anxiety which has become a common state since the pandemic “took hold” of our day to day lives. This feeling is not the same as an “anxiety disorder” which is a longer term condition that can be treated by many traditional and holistic means. We are finding that the unrest brought about in people’s routines has been contributing toward many folks feeling uncertain and uprooted. There is some degree of fear in the vast majority of people. The way we live each day is so different!
Your father may be among the “creatures of habit” who get up each morning and go about their day in a ritualistic manner. Sounds like going to the coffee shop was the foundation of each day for him. Maybe he grabbed his newspaper, had a cup of coffee and talked about whatever. He had his own way of going about the rest of his days. Maybe he has been able to hold onto some of what he was accustomed to, but my guess is that he has had to spend a lot more time alone.
For people of all ages, these changes have not been easy to swallow. It may be that much harder for him because he can’t get out to the grocery, the hardware, the wherever without his mask and being worried about his life.
My suggestion is to talk with him about how the pandemic has affected you and he might just pipe in with a few thoughts of his own. Maybe he is feeling less than whole and wonders about his purpose in life. See what you can do to open up the subject in a bit of an indirect way and ask him what it is like for him. You may find that his thumbs will slow down. Social connection may be the best medicine.
